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The Comedy of Errors - Act 3, scene 2
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The Comedy of Errors - Act 3, scene 2Act 3, scene 2
⌜Scene 2⌝
Synopsis:
Antipholus (of Syracuse) falls in love with Adriana’s sister, Luciana. Dromio (of Syracuse) is claimed by Adriana’s kitchen maid as her betrothed. The two Syracusans decide that Luciana and the kitchen maid are witches, and Antipholus sends Dromio to the harbor to book immediate passage. The goldsmith enters and gives Antipholus the chain.
Enter ⌜Luciana⌝ with Antipholus of Syracuse.⌜LUCIANA⌝
0792 And may it be that you have quite forgot
0793 A husband’s office? Shall, Antipholus,
0794 Even in the spring of love thy love-springs rot?
0795 Shall love, in ⌜building,⌝ grow so ⌜ruinous?⌝
0796 5 If you did wed my sister for her wealth,
0797 Then for her wealth’s sake use her with more
0798 kindness.
0799 Or if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth —
0800 Muffle your false love with some show of
0801 10 blindness.
0802 Let not my sister read it in your eye;
0803 Be not thy tongue thy own shame’s orator;
0804 Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty;
0805 Apparel vice like virtue’s harbinger.
0806 15 Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted.
0807 Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint.
0808 Be secret-false. What need she be acquainted?
0809 What simple thief brags of his own ⌜attaint?⌝
0810 ’Tis double wrong to truant with your bed
0811 20 And let her read it in thy looks at board.
0812 Shame hath a bastard fame, well managèd;
0813 Ill deeds is doubled with an evil word.
0814 Alas, poor women, make us ⌜but⌝ believe,
0815 Being compact of credit, that you love us.
0816 25 Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve;
0817 We in your motion turn, and you may move us.
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0818
Then, gentle brother, get you in again.0819 Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her ⌜wife.⌝
0820 ’Tis holy sport to be a little vain
0821 30 When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
0822 Sweet mistress—what your name is else I know not,
0823 Nor by what wonder you do hit of mine—
0824 Less in your knowledge and your grace you show not
0825 Than our Earth’s wonder, more than Earth divine.
0826 35 Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak.
0827 Lay open to my earthy gross conceit,
0828 Smothered in errors, feeble, shallow, weak,
0829 The folded meaning of your words’ deceit.
0830 Against my soul’s pure truth why labor you
0831 40 To make it wander in an unknown field?
0832 Are you a god? Would you create me new?
0833 Transform me, then, and to your power I’ll yield.
0834 But if that I am I, then well I know
0835 Your weeping sister is no wife of mine,
0836 45 Nor to her bed no homage do I owe.
0837 Far more, far more, to you do I decline.
0838 O, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note
0839 To drown me in thy ⌜sister’s⌝ flood of tears.
0840 Sing, Siren, for thyself, and I will dote.
0841 50 Spread o’er the silver waves thy golden hairs,
0842 And as a ⌜bed⌝ I’ll take ⌜them⌝ and there lie,
0843 And in that glorious supposition think
0844 He gains by death that hath such means to die.
0845 Let love, being light, be drownèd if she sink.
LUCIANA
0846 55 What, are you mad that you do reason so?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
0847 Not mad, but mated—how, I do not know.
LUCIANA
0848 It is a fault that springeth from your eye.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0849 For gazing on your beams, fair sun, being by.
LUCIANA
0850 Gaze when you should, and that will clear your
0851 60 sight.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
0852 As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night.
LUCIANA
0853 Why call you me “love”? Call my sister so.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
0854 Thy sister’s sister.
LUCIANA 0855 That’s my sister.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0856 65 No,
0857 It is thyself, mine own self’s better part,
0858 Mine eye’s clear eye, my dear heart’s dearer heart,
0859 My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope’s aim,
0860 My sole Earth’s heaven, and my heaven’s claim.
LUCIANA
0861 70 All this my sister is, or else should be.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
0862 Call thyself “sister,” sweet, for I am thee.
0863 Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life;
0864 Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife.
0865 Give me thy hand.
LUCIANA 0866 75 O soft, sir. Hold you still.
0867 I’ll fetch my sister to get her goodwill.She exits.
Enter Dromio ⌜of⌝ Syracuse, ⌜running.⌝
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0868 Why, how now, Dromio.
0869 Where runn’st thou so fast?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0870 Do you know me, sir? Am I
0871 80 Dromio? Am I your man? Am I myself?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0872 Thou art Dromio, thou art
0873 my man, thou art thyself.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0874 I am an ass, I am a woman’s
0875 man, and besides myself.
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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
0876
85What woman’s man? And0877 how besides thyself?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0878 Marry, sir, besides myself I am
0879 due to a woman, one that claims me, one that
0880 haunts me, one that will have me.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0881 90What claim lays she to thee?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0882 Marry, sir, such claim as you
0883 would lay to your horse, and she would have me as
0884 a beast; not that I being a beast she would have me,
0885 but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays
0886 95 claim to me.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0887 What is she?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0888 A very reverend body, ay, such a
0889 one as a man may not speak of without he say
0890 “sir-reverence.” I have but lean luck in the match,
0891 100 and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0892 How dost thou mean a “fat
0893 marriage”?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0894 Marry, sir, she’s the kitchen
0895 wench, and all grease, and I know not what use to
0896 105 put her to but to make a lamp of her and run from
0897 her by her own light. I warrant her rags and the
0898 tallow in them will burn a Poland winter. If she lives
0899 till doomsday, she’ll burn a week longer than the
0900 whole world.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0901 110What complexion is she of?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0902 Swart like my shoe, but her face
0903 nothing like so clean kept. For why? She sweats. A
0904 man may go overshoes in the grime of it.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0905 That’s a fault that water will
0906 115 mend.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0907 No, sir, ’tis in grain; Noah’s flood
0908 could not do it.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0909 What’s her name?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0910 Nell, sir, but her name ⌜and⌝
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0911
120 three quarters—that’s an ell and three quarters—0912 will not measure her from hip to hip.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0913 Then she bears some
0914 breadth?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0915 No longer from head to foot than
0916 125 from hip to hip. She is spherical, like a globe. I
0917 could find out countries in her.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0918 In what part of her body
0919 stands Ireland?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0920 Marry, sir, in her buttocks. I
0921 130 found it out by the bogs.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0922 Where Scotland?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0923 I found it by the barrenness,
0924 hard in the palm of the hand.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0925 Where France?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0926 135In her forehead, armed and
0927 reverted, making war against her heir.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0928 Where England?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0929 I looked for the chalky cliffs, but
0930 I could find no whiteness in them. But I guess it
0931 140 stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran
0932 between France and it.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0933 Where Spain?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0934 Faith, I saw it not, but I felt it hot
0935 in her breath.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0936 145Where America, the Indies?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0937 O, sir, upon her nose, all o’erembellished
0938 with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires,
0939 declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of
0940 Spain, who sent whole armadas of carracks to be
0941 150 ballast at her nose.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0942 Where stood Belgia, the
0943 Netherlands?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 0944 O, sir, I did not look so low. To
0945 conclude: this drudge or diviner laid claim to me,
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0946
155 called me Dromio, swore I was assured to her, told0947 me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark
0948 of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart
0949 on my left arm, that I, amazed, ran from her as a
0950 witch.
0951 160 And, I think, if my breast had not been made of
0952 faith, and my heart of steel,
0953 She had transformed me to a curtal dog and made
0954 me turn i’ th’ wheel.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
0955 Go, hie thee presently. Post to the road.
0956 165 An if the wind blow any way from shore,
0957 I will not harbor in this town tonight.
0958 If any bark put forth, come to the mart,
0959 Where I will walk till thou return to me.
0960 If everyone knows us, and we know none,
0961 170 ’Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
0962 As from a bear a man would run for life,
0963 So fly I from her that would be my wife.He exits.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
0964 There’s none but witches do inhabit here,
0965 And therefore ’tis high time that I were hence.
0966 175 She that doth call me husband, even my soul
0967 Doth for a wife abhor. But her fair sister,
0968 Possessed with such a gentle sovereign grace,
0969 Of such enchanting presence and discourse,
0970 Hath almost made me traitor to myself.
0971 180 But lest myself be guilty to self wrong,
0972 I’ll stop mine ears against the mermaid’s song.
Enter Angelo with the chain.
ANGELO
0973 Master Antipholus.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 0974 Ay, that’s my name.
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ANGELO 0975 I know it well, sir. Lo, here’s the chain.
0976 185 I thought to have ta’en you at the Porpentine;
0977 The chain unfinished made me stay thus long.
⌜He gives Antipholus a chain.⌝
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
0978 What is your will that I shall do with this?
ANGELO
0979 What please yourself, sir. I have made it for you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
0980 Made it for me, sir? I bespoke it not.
ANGELO
0981 190 Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have.
0982 Go home with it, and please your wife withal,
0983 And soon at supper time I’ll visit you
0984 And then receive my money for the chain.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
0985 I pray you, sir, receive the money now,
0986 195 For fear you ne’er see chain nor money more.
ANGELO
0987 You are a merry man, sir. Fare you well.He exits.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
0988 What I should think of this I cannot tell,
0989 But this I think: there’s no man is so vain
0990 That would refuse so fair an offered chain.
0991 200 I see a man here needs not live by shifts
0992 When in the streets he meets such golden gifts.
0993 I’ll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay.
0994 If any ship put out, then straight away.
He exits.